And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
