We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
