New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Shame is for Republicans.
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