just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
