Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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