so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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