All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So. Much. Porn.
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