The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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