guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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