Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
