some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
