puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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