Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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