he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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