Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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