WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
