i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
