Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
