Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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