I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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