Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize