I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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