you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
