Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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