a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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