have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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