dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
