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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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