i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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