and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That's intense
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
