Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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