So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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