Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
