So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
