So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize