i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
vagina is talking i cant
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
