your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
