Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
