At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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