Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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