I will die if light touches me.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
