I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
