I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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