Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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