sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
