discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
