How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
