We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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