brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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