I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
