singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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