she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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