mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
