I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
