I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize