Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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