i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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