oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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