I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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