Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
