found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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